It is a delight to be the spouse of a hard working, joy-filled, dedicated man.

Tuesday, April 7, 2009

I Found A Way To Get More Time!

It is one of those serendipity things, you know Dear Reader, when you're trying to solve one problem but solve another instead.

I have found a way to get more time out of my day, a whole nuther eight hours. Granted with this method I will have to make sure that the things I do for sixteen hours of the day are very basic rote things that I do. But hey that could be darn near my whole stinking day far as I can tell.

So how I discovered this eureka is, I was feeling like a shark today, okay a myth about a shark come to find out. I thought I remembered something about sharks always having to swim or they would die. And that is how I was feeling today for so many reasons. Sometimes I feel like my body feels worse if I am still, like just after sleeping for the night, my body feels worse than when I went to bed. The same seems to be true if I rest a little in a chair and maybe read a book. Therefore I feel like if I just kept moving, like the shark, supposedly has to, then I would always feel okay.

The other part of the keep moving thing is getting stuff done. If I know I have been working at a steady pace all day long and not sitting to think or sitting to whatever, then even if I don't get my list done, I'm okay. I don't feel bad, like I'm a big loser.

But when I went to google the whole "shark never stops swimming or he dies" thing, I found it was hyperbole. Argh, hyperbole, I wish it were impossible to over state things, well unless you are me and I am trying to be funny, then hyperbolize to the sky. But anyway, I found that it really isn't true. But what I found instead is a way to skip full-on sleeping. I find sleeping very overrated anyway, the whole feel worse when you wake up thing and I was just about to declare that sleep is a device of the enemy, but now I don't have to. I have stumbled on a way to not sleep, not entirely anyway.

Dolphins have to stay somewhat awake because they constantly have to surface to breath. But they, like all animals, need to sleep, (all of this is true for dolphins in the wild not in captivity) so they operate for a part of the time on only one hemisphere of their brain, the other hemisphere is in a slow sleep mode. Cool! I can do that, I think I often do. But if I could just concentrate it for eight hours at at time for each side of the brain I would end up totally rested instead of cat napping.

This is where the whole by rote stuff comes in, because the dolphins only do the basics, nothing that would require something like problem solving, both sides of the brain working together type stuff. But criminy, do you know how much I could get done in a day even if sixteen hours, eight hours for each side, was devoted to just the dumb stuff I do? Holy moley. Things like dishes, weeding, sweeping, pruning, washing windows, dusting, seeding a tray, spraying trees, cleaning out cupboards, eating, even some cooking and heck even certain car trips, all done while half the brain sleeps.

So I am working on that, only using half of my brain at a time. Half of what I was already using. This however I do believe, will require that no one talk to me during that time. That is where I get caught up, or if someone is singing in my presence, I cannot just go along. Things that bother me while concentrating with my whole brain I am thinking will disrupt trying to sleep half my brain. But I'm sure it is doable, especially when everyone else is sleeping. When I get it worked out Dear Reader, you will of course be the first to know. Isn't this exciting?!

But of course you may have to suffer through my getting to know how it all does indeed work out. For instance you may find that I have posted something that appears I have only used half a brain to write. You may assume that indeed I have unwittingly tried to post while half my brain was in sleep mode. But I know you are a faithful friend Dear Reader, and that you will be gentle with me and let me know with loving correction that indeed my right or left side clearly was asleep when I did indeed try to post.

I know you can bear with me while I get this all figured out. I know some of you get along fine with the hours in a day that we are given. I know I have an eclectic assortment of Readers and Friends and that many of you do not exhibit the slightest tendencies that I have for biting off more than I can chew, or being interested in absolutely everything that is mentioned by anyone.

However, even though you do not suffer from the plight a few of us do, you do in fact understand our plight and my determination to find a solution for those of us so afflicted. Mmmm I think I can feel my left side going into a very restful slow wave sleep at the moment, either that or Dirt's wine we found in the well house from a few years back has gained in potency.

Well onward with the investigation of sleeping half my brain, and spring cleaning the entire Vick household and attempting to.... uh I'm not sure, I think that....


Sparky ♥ ∞ said...

My husband hates to sleep. He must be part shark. [tee hee] Me, I love to sleep and always feel rested in the morning. All my hemisphere's must shut down. There are real benefits to being blonde ... [lol] :o)

KathyB. said...

Please let me know when you have discovered the secrets to avoiding sleep AND feeling rested and getting more things done...I too do not feel good in the morning. I avoid sleep until it attacks me! Then I cling to it, only to awake in pain. But as the day goes along things get better until that durn sleep stalks me again. So, you think you will do well on half a brain, Lanny, you are so funny! That is a set-up for a million jokes at your expense and your family knows it I am sure!I want to hear what they have to say about this!

Crystal Jigsaw said...

Sleep is definitely overrated and has a terrible habit of cutting into ones day.

Great post, couldn't agree more.

CJ xx

Empress Bee (of the High Sea) said...

honey i think your brain needs a little nap. and maybe a bit of cake... just sayin'!

smiles, bee

LindaSueBuhl said...

Please send out notices when you are planning to drive by rote - the roads should be immediately cleared! Aargh -I am SO the opposite - I love sleep and can fall asleep so easily (most of the time - I am aging ungracefully and that makes a difference and I'm talking to YOU bladder - ahem - nevermind the rest of you). The Lord says we are to rest - so I figure if He says it - I'm on board with it. Sorry about the pain thing - you and Kathy both - I have some but nothing a cuppa coffee and some moving around doesn't banish!BTW - that half a brain at a time thing - I'm not so sure you want to broadcast that one - Kathy's right - too many jokes available!

deedee said...

I'd pick 8 hours of sleep over doing chores any day - good luck

fishing guy said...

Lanny: I wish you luck with that half brain sleeping idea. Did you know if you put half your brain to sleep you can only move one side of your body. I think that means you can only do half as much work. Logically I don't know how this whole thing is going to work out. I think you ought to use the whole brain to figure out if it really works. Best of luck with the idea.

Kathleen from Eggs In My Pocket said...

I have always been a morning person, hopping out of bed, ready to explore what the day has. My husband and children do not share in my enthusiasum. lol. Enjoyed your words. Have a blessed Easter. Blessings, Kathleen

ethel said...

entertaining read! i agree..with everything! tee hee!

Denise said...

An interesting read, I'm not a good sleeper either though I try real hard ;)

Daisy said...

Lanny, I could definitely use some more hours in my day to get stuff done, but I do NOT want to give up any sleep to do it. I think asking me to operate on only half a brain is just asking for trouble. I get in enough trouble and make enough mistakes when I am functioning on all cylinders!! HA! Good luck with your experimenting though! :D

Tipper said...

So you're going to go Dolphin on us uh? This post makes me smile this morning-after a sleepless night and much to do today-maybe I should think Dolphin and see how it goes. Can't wait to see how it works for you-and I think you should get the opinions of your family too-you know if they think you're swimming, breathing, or sleeping :)