Oh Bother

I had to learn new things so that I could do this for Sparky. Sheesh. Sorry about the technical difficulties and the big fat gaps that's what happens when Lanny has to load a new pic.

Sparky tag me with a "what if" and the what if in question this week was, what if you had a zillion dollars what kind of car would you have? Well Sparky dear, if I had a zillion dollars I would not have just one car. I would do my part to stimulate the economy, I would not hog my money. And besides, like Cinderella who coined the phrase, "you can never have too many shoes," if I had a zillion dollars (or what ever that amount was) then certainly you could never have too many motorized vehicles.

Oh and I would not want people to think that I was miserly, you can come right on over and borrow any of my motorized vehicles. Just don't do anything illegal on them, including speeding little Missy Mildred, Barney Fife might not flash you around here.

I've made my choices based on a few things:

Well made for one thing.

Not an antique that will absorb Dirt's time, I would prefer him to be in the passenger seat (okay, driver) not under the vehicle. Although I do like olden days feel to somethings.

Not an areoplane or a boat, I'll pitch poo into the poo wagon and occasionally I'll pitch horseshoes with Dirt but that's all I'm pitching, I like my cookies to stay right where they are thanks. Although, the sky bike on Joel Barker's blog looks pretty keen.

So for my first motorized vehicle choice, my work vehicle.

Yes boys and girls, it is a F450. I'd change the grill up a bit and it would be the Ranch King version with a long box with a liner and all the bells and whistles and little dial gauge thingies Dirt could ever want.
It would of course have the ultimate tow package because if you called me and needed some livestock hauled from here to there or there to here, I'd do it in a heart beat. I'd be more than happy to stamp a big fat carbon foot print for ya. Which of course reminds me that there would have to be a new garage built for this truck and its different trailers. Why Ford? Well I gotta say, 'cause of this right here:

“As we told Congress, Ford is in a different position. We do not face a near-term liquidity issue, and we are not seeking short-term financial assistance from the government,” Ford President and CEO Alan Mulally said. December 19, 2008. Nuff said?

Now for my touring, when not picking up livestock, vehicle:

Ummm this dashboard would not be like this it would be the red burl walnut one. And the leather would be brown,

the exterior, Connemara Green Metallic, because a red sports car is entirely to cliche and blue too, uh blue. This loovely little number is a Panoz Esperante GT and my price tag is $116,465.00 or maybe a little more cuz if I had all the money perhaps I could have them do a few more custom changes.

These little puppies are made right here in the US, I am by no means an isolationist, I like foreign products as much as the next person but I like that someone started a new company and started it here at a time when we are told by EVERYONE on both sides that America is not the place to have a new business. Bull pucky. We may not look like the country you want us to look like right now but we still look pretty good when you take a spin around the globe. And one sure way to tank and flush is to give up and say that the "other side" has won. Okay, I'm done, let's do some more shopping.

(Maybe this pic will stay put.)


This model, without a doubt, is appealing to the senses and emotions, which, as we know from previous writings, Lanny does not fear. Fully dressed this puppy will cost me in the $34,000 range. Throw in the trip to go get it in my F450 and trailer and yeah kinda spendy but this is my fantasy and my fantasies are not cheap. Well not all of them anyway.

Dirt and I and our friends Mike and Rebecca went for an impromptu bike camping ride one weekend. Unfortunately we had no idea that on that weekend everyone was camping. So home we headed in the dark.

We were coming up from Chehalis where we had eaten dinner and tried to get a room at the hotel only to find out that even the hotels in the area were full because of some horse show. We came up the back roads and part of the back road runs parallel to the train track.

Hugging Dirt's back in the dark with the train running next to us, my DOT helmet melted off of my head and soon I was sporting a little leather cap and sweet little goggles. My jeans transformed into knickers and argyle knee socks grew up out of my newly acquired lace up brown leather boots. As we raced the train to the intersection miles ahead my life raced back through decades to a decade I have only heard about but longed for. The idea of this bike takes me there just as easy as that night did.

I was going to say that the motersickle was my grocery getting vehicle but I might need groceries on one of the days other than the sixty it doesn't rain here. So lets shop Lanny's brain one more time for a family car. The truck really is just to big to zip to town in.
So here it is the end of my economic stimulus package, ya, I know I said earlier, no antiques, but I couldn't help myself. My fantasy changed up a little and I hired myself a full time mechanic. I think if you hire one they actually work on your vehicles as opposed to the ones you marry.

But just in case Dear Reader you are just getting to know me, and think that I am a materialistic beast, I thought I would show you my vehicular reality.

My grocery fetching vehicle.

Dirt's commuter vehicle.

No one but Dirt will ride in it because unlike other cars that are this old and nicknamed "the rust bucket" this one is "the mold machine." Yes, Dear Reader, mold holds this puppy together. Bet got in it last summer and rode a couple miles, by the time the ride was over her throat had swollen shut, her eyes were red and dripping and she needed emergency oxygen when she arrived home.


Spark, hope this lived up to your expectations of me.