Remember What Cliff Said?

Something about farming not being for sissies. This is one of those mornings.

Warning, this is a self-indulgent post today.

Dirt woke me, although he didn't have to try very hard as I had just fallen back to sleep, with a, "hey, two lambs in the barn, I told the girls, but make sure they are up soon."

Moments later he was back inside and I said, "I thought you left?"

Come to find out the grace period of getting up, getting dressed, and getting outside just collapsed into get outside the ewe has prolapsed.

Oh what a mess. And what troopers my girls are and what a chicken I am. I knew to immediately get ice cold water washing down the organ hanging completely out of the animal. And I wanted desperately to say that I knew that sugar helped shrink it so that it would go back in (with lots of manipulation). But I second guessed myself and had to come here and look it up, sure enough my memory was right.

I have no idea if getting the sugar going right away would have helped or if it was a lost cause to begin with, not knowing how long she had been like this makes it hard to know if it was salvageable, and ultimately she would have only been allowed to stick around long enough to nurse her lambs to weaning stage and her lambs will be locker lambs.

Once a prolapser the chances are she'd do it again next year, and there is some who say that it is hereditary so there are better choices of lambs for replacement. I can be rational about all of this. This particular ewe was not a "special" ewe, no one used her for 4-H, she wasn't a bottle lamb, no one had given her a name, so I can do this, I've done this for years.

But crups, when Dirt got back home (I called him when it was obvious Bet and I were failing at the task) and he could not get it back in either because she was already closing back up, and so came and got the rifle, I couldn't stop the tears that had been welling up since I had called with defeat.

I know it is because I am tired, up most of the night in prayer and reading, barely slept at all even though I wanted to, I just feel spent, worn down, completely fatigued and vulnerable. I doubt if I could fight my way out of a wet paper sack today. Sure couldn't from the fetal position that I would like to assume. But I won't, I've got gardening to do and the girls are being taken into town by big sister Michelle (a much needed break for them) and so animal sitting falls upon me for the afternoon.

The Bald Eagles are back in town, well not really town, here at the farm actually, perched in their favorite "lunch counter" tree, unbudgeable. I think it is funny that a few years ago if you were doing something noisy, like building a house, and a bald eagle came and sat in a tree by your noisiness you would have to stop until the bird moved on, "because they won't dwell where it is noisy". Hog wash. We have seen them nest next to freeways, our own resident eagles cannot be scared away with banging pots and pans right under them.

So I guess I am going to head out, the eagles picked off one of our silver appleyard ducks the other day and if it happens today, if the eagle should get anything, I won't recover for several days, my sissy factor is at dangerous levels today. Anybody got a high rise condo in the city they want to sell me? I'm buying today.

But ultimately Dear Reader, I know that I will recover, God knew what my night was like, it was Holy Spirit's prompting that kept me awake most of the night in prayer and searching wisdom, God knew what I was going to be faced with this morning. God knew the fatigue that was going to make my bones hurt today. He knows and He is next to me, I have my ear toward Him today. I will be better soon.

May God teach me to listen closer and to understand what it is I hear.