It is a delight to be the spouse of a hard working, joy-filled, dedicated man.

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

Things Just Don't Feel Right

My computer is home, but it doesn't feel right and there is a lot of work to do to put things back on that are missing, spent tonight just on the whole e-mail thing. I loaded up my One Note but decided setting up my notebooks needed to be another day.

Along with all the work of restoring my computer to the best of my not-backed-up ability is the irritation of my num lock on my ten key section effecting my key board. Dirt says I have to call the fix it people. But I sure as heck don't want to send it off again.

The computer isn't doing much for keeping my mind busy, neither is my morning work out with Terry or ferocious gardening. I would think that after being without my own parents, my dad for twenty-seven years and my mom for fourteen, having lost a step-mother-in-law, grandfathers and grandmothers and others, that I would be used to this death thing. I thought that my faith in God, in Christ and His saving grace and victory over death and knowledge that Dale also believed, would lessen this pain I feel. Part of my pain is personal, I miss him, I find myself crying often. A larger part of the pain is watching my girls grieve, all four, but mostly the two that are still at home.

In spite of the beautiful colors, the rain, and Norine, Dale's wife, staying here in her home at the farm, things just don't feel right.


Empress Bee (of the High Sea) said...

sending you a big hug honey...

smiles, bee

CaroltheRose said...

hey I hear Bet's been crying. I cried alot too. these past few days feel like they have been riddled with sad tidings. non of which we should be sad about because we SHOULD know God directs life and death and everything in between. but I'm only human, I feel sad.
give the girls hugs from me and tell them I miss them and I'm sorry!

Daisy said...

Grief takes time, Lanny. And it is possible for you to have the knowledge that Dale is in a place where joy never ends and still feel sad that he isn't here anymore and feel the sadness of others who miss him. Things have changed suddenly and unexpectedly. It is not a surprise then that things just don't feel right. I'm sure you will need some time to adjust. Wishing you peace. I hope that you can find something to fill your time that will grant you some comfort and will get you through the sadness.

Wingmaster said...

I wonder if part of us is jealous that Dale is Home and we are not? I know the rest is selfishness; we'll miss him. He won't be here making us laugh and helping all the people that he helped over the years. He really knew how to "spread the wealth around". The King James Version called it Charity; we know it as LOVE.