Course Change

One dark night,
fired with love's urgent longings
- ah, the sheer grace! -
I went out unseen,
my house being now all stilled.

In darkness, and secure,
by the secret ladder, disguised,
- ah, the sheer grace! -
in darkness and concealment,
my house being now all stilled.

On that glad night,
in secret, for no one saw me,
nor did I look at anything,
with no other light or guide
than the one that burned in my heart.

This guided me
more surely than the light of noon
to where he was awaiting me
- him I knew so well -
there in a place where no one appeared.

O guiding night!
O night more lovely than the dawn!
O night that has united
the Lover with his beloved,
transforming the beloved in her Lover.

Upon my flowering breast
which I kept wholly for him alone,
there he lay sleeping,
and I caressing him
there in a breeze from the fanning cedars.

When the breeze blew from the turret,
as I parted his hair,
it wounded my neck with its gentle hand,
suspending all my senses.

I abandoned and forgot myself,
laying my face on my Beloved;
all things ceased; I went out from myself,
leaving my cares
forgotten among the lilies.

This is The Dark Night Of the Soul by St John of the Cross

As it stands, just the poem alone, I am drawn to it.

I have, whether consciously or unconsciously, a burning desire not only to dwell daily deep in the interior castle (see Teresa of Avila and the Interior Castle) but with the last stanza of this poem on my breath, every moment.

Because I have severely misplaced my Teresa of Avila book and it will be a while before I can order up a new one, I am going to be using this poem and the accompanying explanations for my study and meditations for a while. (Hence the title: Course Change, but hopefully not a change of course) I have a hard copy of St. John's work but I will also be using a web site with the entire work on it (see side bar), hopefully then I cannot be foiled by my current penchant for loosing things. I hope I will have fellow travelers on my journey, as you who know me know, I love parties, even work parties.

Lord God, you say to me,
"Be still and know that I am God."
I am so desperate to be still.
Lord hold me, and make me still.

For I seem to be all wiggly and jiggly
like a small child
that is unsure yet excited
about what the day will hold.

I trust you.

Hold me, still me,
that I may know you more clearly
and love you more dearly,
that I may follow you more nearly,

this day I pray
for all my days.